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Creative Writing, Diary, Stories, Writing

A Piece of Gold


Braidwaves in my hair

Image by baking_in_pearls via Flickr

I´m 15 years old and it´s the world against me, and me against the world. Very well knowing how much you hate me, I hate you back for every word that comes out of your mouth; I love you. I refuse to believe. Instead I crew cut my long chestnut-colored hair, giving you the finger for what you just spoke. Then I disappear into my room.

Hiding from life between my walls of misery I look myself in the mirror. It´s a wimpy girl with an ugly face staring back at me. She´s probably insane somehow, and she smells, she dresses in an awkward way, and why is that nose still there? I´m running again, running away from you, from me, but there´s nowhere to run from life. Standing in the middle of life´s playground I cannot do anything else but suffer.

The invisible rules of our society´s game are laid upon me with a violent pressure over my shoulders. No one ever asked me if I want to play. I refuse. There´s nothing to hold on to, nothing to believe in, nothing holy or worthy my trust or love. I´m a nonbeliever. Nothing else.

You´re everything I ever wanted. The whispering voice of yours tickling my year, feminine lips, sky-blue eyes promising me that you are the wingless star of mine that fell into my hand from an empty sky. You´re a gift from the non-existing God of mine, meant to fill my heart with unconditional love, so that I can allow myself to be. You´re my creator.

The scissor´s sharp edge cut through your golden tress. With your curl in my hand I´m finally blessed, saved from a life of exclusion. Your division is divine, leaving me full of trust in a future when I finally can be. Together with you.

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About Magdalena Wiklund

Leg. biomedicinsk analytiker och maker. Arbetar med transfusionsmedicin till vardags, forskar på antibiotikaresistens på fritiden. Jag skapade Sveriges största site för biomedicinska analytiker därför att detta verkligen är ett fantastiskt yrke som jag hoppas att fler ska intressera sig för.

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